Chaz’s bereft life prior to being found by Ainsley was not a feasible one to endure. Two months ago, the eggplant harvesters thought of Chaz to be as negligible as the rest of the premature eggplants and evidently left him on the fallow fields to endure a nearing demise. For weeks, Chaz perpetuated through the inclement weather conditions of the brutal summer heat to the chilly winds of autumn. The harsh climate coerced Chaz to become dour. The amicable side of him never shone through. Chaz always grimaced at the crows that often harassed him by attempting to punitively peck at his ripened flesh. His fortitude was the most impeccable of all the eggplants in the area. The adversaries’ belligerent gibes continued day and night until one autumn morning.
Ainsley was a very adroit, yet scruffy woman. She didn’t care much for her appearance, for her cursory morning routines were apparent in her unkempt hair which did not seem pliable, even with the opulent hairbrush of Aphrodite. Aside from her atrocious guise, Ainsley was a very urbane culinary expert. The food that she made was the very quintessence of a heavenly dish.
Ainsley was shopping for ingredients for a dish she was musing about the morning she found Chaz. She could do nothing but gape at Chaz’s tattered condition. Oh, how devastated she was at the sight of such a mistreated vegetable! Ainsley’s benevolent impetus caused her to take Chaz home with her in order to take meticulous care of him. Her attempt to redress his life was so unworldly to Chaz and it exhilarated every part of him. He wished so much for this sojourn to last forever!
Eventually, duplicity overcame Ainsley. Chaz’s relentless and obnoxious extolling conjured an insidious plan that Ainsley was determined to deploy. “I want to play a game.” said Ainsley, careful to not express any intimation of the vast jeopardy Chaz was about to be in. With a knife in each hand, Ainsley ambidextrously massacred Chaz into evenly precise slices of eggplant. She concluded the holocaust on the scorching grill where Chaz’s remains were scrumptiously seared. Chaz tasted delicious.
“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”—John Green (via tyleroakley)